I have a praise, without knowing exactly how, my grief has lifted. Oh last week was hard. Mark sent me a picture of her and dad's chairs in Paul and Jane's cabin. I burst into tears. For all the nevers. Never get to go "home" to 4613 again. Mourning the loss as I mentioned in the last post, but then somewhere between Friday to Monday...it lifted. Midway through the week I realized I felt lighter. Happy. Peaceful. Oh dear sweet Jesus, please let them remain for I did not recognize the me of the last 10 months. I do not want to be sad and not caring any more. It's time to live and feel and embrace.
I am thankful.
I have learned a thing or 2 about complicated bereavement and yet I believe it was merely a blessing and a trust. I pray Lord that it will not return. The dark and the bereft.
We'll be OK. I'll be OK. Help me embrace all that is coming our way and to use this returned energy wisely, Oh Lord please help me.
In the powerful name of Jesus I pray!